Monday, September 26, 2011

Your Love Never Fails

A few weeks ago, I posted about how I wasn't doing too well.  That was a hard post to write, but something that I felt like I needed to do.  After writing it, I stayed in a pretty dark place for a pretty long time.  It lasted for longer than it ever has before.  I just wasn't okay, but I didn't know how to get out of it.  It was like I just wanted to stay there -  I felt I had a right to be upset and hurt for awhile.  And I did.  But once I had been in that place for awhile, I didn't know how to get out.  About a week and a half after I wrote that post, I went to church.  This is nothing unusual.  But on this day, The Hubs was leading worship (which means that he doesn't sit with me, he sits with the band), and our friends that we sit with were on vacation and weren't there either.  That means that I was just sitting by myself (not too big of a deal).  I think that this was totally intentional by God.  Because I was sitting by myself, I had no distractions.  No one to put a happy face on for.  No one to talk to.  So what do you do when you have no distractions?  You listen.

I just listened to God and realized that, while I had every right to be upset, it was time to get out of my funk.  Don't get me wrong - this doesn't mean that there still aren't rough days ahead.  And it doesn't mean that I won't hurt anymore about this.  But I just realized that it was time to get back to life.  Time to be happy again.  That was a week ago today - and I totally feel like a new person.  I have just been constantly focused this week on the blessings that I do have.  And how I really and truly know that there is a bigger plan for me. 

I don't know how many of you listen to the songs that I post on here.  I hope that if you're taking the time to read this, that you'll also take the time to listen to them.  Even if this isn't your style of music, you aren't a Christian, or this isn't what you hear in your church: it still has a message. 

This song was in the line-up at our church this morning and I feel like it was there just for me.  In case you aren't going to listen, here are the lyrics:

Nothing can separate

Even if I ran away
Your love never fails

I know I still make mistakes
But You have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails
You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There maybe pain in the night but joy comes in the morning

And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails

The wind is strong and the water's deep
But I'm not alone in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails

The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I'd reach the other side
But Your love never fails

You make all things work together for my good

This is EXACTLY how I feel standing on the other side of my "dark" time.  I honestly felt at times that I had no idea if I'd make it to the other side.  I felt totally alone.  But I never was.  And I'm not now.  God is ALWAYS on my side and His love NEVER fails!  That is such a beautiful promise and something that I'll try hard to hold on to next time I feel myself slipping back downward.

I do want to say thank you.  And specifically.  I honestly and trying as hard as I can to reply to all of you individually in my spare time (ha!), but I know that most of you know how limited that is with a full time job and a toddler.  But I'm trying!  These people sent me messages, emails, comments, prayers and texts of encouragement, and I want to thank you!

Emily M, Rossie, Amanda, Lindsey, Kelly, Erin, Ashley, Alayna, Kelsey, Grammy, Holly, Kelsey, Emily P, Lana and Laura.

Thank you all SO MUCH for encouraging me and lifting me up!  You have no idea how much it meant to me and I promise that if you haven't heard back from me yet - I'm getting there!


1 comment:

Emily said...

so glad you're doing better!!!! i've been in those type funks before and it is soooo hard to pull yourself out. thankfully you're a christian so you have God to help lift you ;) love you!